Stop Behaving Like a Loser + 18 Common Loser Glitches

Last week, I got yet another troll on IG. Happens all the time. My all-time favorite comment? “You never summited Everest because no one saw you there”. Wait, what?

I’m always baffled by these people. They live for watching, lurking—what they like to call “living ferociously” through someone else’s life. Then they make it their mission to criticize, to dictate how we should do things. They always have an opinion, always “knowing” better. They have energy to actually bother typing lengthy comments.

To the trolls (yes, I know some of you are reading this newsletter): If this sounds like you, it might be time to rethink your life choices.

As for the rest of us, I hope you enjoy reading the list below, knowing that you are on the other side of that nonsense, living your own life on your terms. That’s a winner’s mindset.

Stop behaving like a loser.

As we grow up, we split into two groups of people.

One group seems to reach every summit, every time. They treat life as a game and any ambitious goal becomes achievable for them. They simply learn the rules (or create their own) and then play to win.

Then there’s the other group. They lose their battles. They never reach their goals. Nothing changes in their lives. Their small, gray existence feels like a never-ending chain of days, leading straight to the graveyard. The wrong job, the wrong president, the wrong outlook on everything.

On this beautiful planet full of limitless resources, something is always missing for them—love, money, joy, fame, adventure.

If you look inside the minds of these losers, you’ll find a common trait—a loser mindset.

The mindset is something you build yourself. The good news is, you can always rebuild it. With effort, of course, you can transform it into the mindset of a winner.

To do this, you first need to identify and reject your old, loser patterns. If you spot a glitch in your thinking, fix it right away. Today. Now.

Common loser glitches:

1) They don’t orchestrate their future.

Losers orchestrate their summer vacation—that’s as far as their vision and goals go. They don’t aim to summit Mt. Everest, to win Dad of the Year, to become the best in their industry, or to complete a marathon. Instead, randomness and hope rule their lives.

Fix it.

Start thinking about your purpose and long-term goals, not just your next vacation.

2) They’re surrounded by other losers.

We all have our support networks. Losers love exchanging advice with other losers because if they don’t, what would the others think?

Fix it.

Be mindful of who you’re taking advice from. Are they ahead of you? And do you really need anyone’s advice at all?

3) They listen to others.

But is there really a need to listen to others?

Fix it.

Listen to yourself. Are you truly happy with the life you’re building for yourself?

4) They follow stereotypes.

They live as they’ve been taught, in a comfortable house built from stereotypes. They blend in, just like everyone else.

Fix it.

Break free. Make your own rules.

5) They refuse to take responsibility.

A loser is never a leader. A loser just goes with the flow, thinking it’s fate. “Let it be,” they say. It’s always the government’s fault, or the country they were born in, their boss, or the unemployment rate.

Fix it.

Learn to take charge, no matter how difficult things seem. Take a small step—right now. It’s not about fault. You might not realize it, but you’ve been blaming the world for the mess in your life. Stop it. Stop blaming others. It’s no one else’s fault. You are the one screwing up your life. You did this to yourself. And because you did, you can change it. No one else can.

6) They hope someone else will solve their problems.

You expect someone to come along and wave a magic wand, a knight in shining armor to appear. But all you’re met with is silence. You can’t rely on anyone but yourself!

Fix it.

Remember, you only have yourself to rely on. Get it together. And don’t help others in ways that weaken them. Motivate? Yes. Encourage? Yes. But doing their stuff for them? Never. Help yourself!

7) They drown in the routine, never break the rules; they break the wrong rules.

Fix it.

Avoid breaking rules that don’t lead to growth or value. Cutting in line? Why bother. Trying a new, creative approach to selling your product? Yes, please. Heart-shaped chocolates for February 14th? Boring. Going to sleep on December 31st for a change (after a workout, of course)? A fantastic idea. Pause binge-watching in the middle of an episode to go to bed early—maybe even two hours earlier than usual. Try mixing things up from time to time. Your psyche will adapt, and you’ll find more enjoyment in the variety and novelty.

8) They are too nice.

Fix it.

Don’t be nice—it often just comes across as whiny. Don’t apologize for your actions; you have every right to make your own choices. If you’ve made a decision, there’s no need to apologize for it. Don’t be polite when you’re being taken advantage of. You don’t owe anyone explanations or answers. If someone you dislike is bothering you, tell them to back off. A client draining your energy. Trolls on your IG. A toxic ex-boyfriend. Skip the explanations. Focus on your own business.

9) They have primitive basic needs.

Food. Sex. Sleep. Less work. More money. Maslow wouldn’t be proud.

Fix it.

Climb higher on the Maslow pyramid.

10) They don’t invest in growth.

If you are not developing, you are deteriorating.

Fix it.

Physical health, mental health, intelligence, and spiritual well-being.

11) They struggle with setting priorities.

People who fail often want everything immediately.

Fix it.

Success comes from taking small, consistent steps.

12) They are always busy.

There’s never enough time to do what they want, so why bother? Better approach – laziness, apathy, low energy, and excuses.

Fix it.

You make time.

13) They are drowning in what-ifs and uncertainty.

Fix it.

Control what you can, and handle the rest as it unfolds.

14) They can’t control their emotions.

Negativity. Constant complaining and whining. Too busy criticizing everyone else, always believing they know how to do everything better. They don’t know how to focus on the positive. Or, practice gratitude. That’s understandable. Losers aren’t supposed to find joy or happiness or peace—unless it’s a holiday or their birthday party. Then they’re supposed to.

Fix it.

You wake up each morning—while 170 thousand people in the world don’t—you can see, breathe, and hear birds singing, you have hot water in the shower and food for breakfast. But somehow you still feel grouchy, anxious, unsatisfied. Something’s always off. Understand, you only have one life to live. You can spend that life complaining about long lines at a Walmart on Black Friday. Or you can build a company that will change lives. You choose.

15) They don’t value themselves or their time.

Fix it.

Ignore the small talk. Seriously. When someone in the elevator on Monday morning starts yapping in your ear about their uneventful weekend with their boring wife and kids, just give them a look. Ignore them. Don’t reply. What if we were born with a limited number of words to use in a lifetime and you’re wasting yours on this douche in the elevator?

16) They love free stuff.

Spending time searching for discounts, participating in giveaways for reposts, eating until they can’t walk at an all-inclusive resort, and taking timeshare tours in exchange for a day at a nice property.

Fix it.

Pay for everything.

17) They lie and hide.

Fix it.

Don’t lie. Just say it. If anything, you’ll feel more empowered. If you go on a date and the guy behaves like a clown, let him know. Life is too short to waste on bad wine and losers. Call your best friend and say what you’ve been wanting to say for a long time. Go ahead. It’ll make you stronger. I promise. Are you afraid your friend will think poorly of you?

Ok, fine. People start thinking poorly of you—oh my God, how scary! How would I continue living my life? Whatever. It doesn’t matter. We’ll all be gone tomorrow. And who’s to say what’s good or bad in this life, anyway? So let others talk poorly about you. At least they’re talking.

Being open and honest is a luxury of strong and self-aware people. You also won’t have to waste energy on pretending to be someone else. It’s difficult but gets easier with practice.

18) They don’t see themselves as losers.

Their minds are shielding them from facing the harsh truth. Consequently, they continue to live in denial.

Fix it.

Admit the reality and take action to change it. Take back your power.

Focus on yourself rather than others. Work on your own life.

Keep climbing.

About the author: 

Olga Koroleva is a founder and CEO of Capital Brain, a company that builds AI-powered products. She is also a high-altitude mountaineer who likes to climb mountains with double-digit death rates, University lecturer, and a public speaker on leadership and risk taking. Sign up to her self-leadership newsletter at https://capitalbrain.co/blog/